Mandy’s Musings

What are friends for?

When we talk of a friend, we think of someone we can count on, talk to, laugh with, even cry with, and trust in. A friend, to most of us, is someone who truly understands how we feel, knows who we really are, and accepts our flaws. I could say that a friend should bring out the best in all of us. However, what do we do when this is not the case? What if that friend brings out the worst in us?  Weird, right?

For sometime now, I have been feeling bad about abandoning a friend when I know she needed me the most. I accept that I have been unfair to her at times and we also hurt each other along the way. However, we had our share of good times in the past. They were the best times we had and I will always treasure those moments. She had stood up for me when her other friends scrutinized me. I would say her loyalty was remarkable and that is something I can never repay despite the fights we had and aches she caused me.

Lately though, I felt like there was no connection between the two of us. I was just tired of her wasting her life away. I did try to understand her situation but there was just a side of her that kept on doing the same mistakes again. I felt like I did not matter -what I tried to tell her in the past, what I tried to warn her. I could not directly tell her I was tired of her getting into trouble over and over because I am not perfect and I did not think I was in the right place to tell her that.

So that, I slowly detached myself away from her and the less I heard about her, the better I felt about my life. I did not have to be dragged when she was feeling down because another boyfriend turned out to be a jerk, or feign sympathy when all I wanted to say was, ” I told you so.”

I started hanging around with new friends - those whom I met just a few years back. Then I realized I felt very different about myself when I was with them. I did not have to worry about them getting in trouble or feeling awkward because I was not as good as they are in Math or computers. They are highly intellectual people, mind you. I can say we just hit it off! They made me feel good about myself. This is not because they always showered me with flattery but they pointed out what was good in me and what was bad in me in a tender way that I never felt like I was looked down. Unlike with my other friend, my new friends and I never had to bicker with each other.We respect each other’s views and when we don’t agree, we let it go.

One of them (whom I am mostly attached with) never fails to amuse me. Yes, he could drain my mind at the end of the day but I never get tired of talking to him. We could talk about anything - from fashion to politics, biology to religion- without having to keep our reservations. I could be as opinionated as I want to be,voice out my thoughts and not have  to worry that I have offended him. He is very open-minded and calm . Even my husband admires his wits and likes talking to him. He just knows how to handle me and calm me down. The best thing about him is that he never looks down on anyone’s opinion even if he disagrees with it. That is some quality that many people do not have. I admire him for that.

My point is, should not a friend make you feel good about yourself and life? Shouldn’t a friend be able to bring out the best in you and not the worst? Friendship is not a marriage and that makes it fun. Two or more people stay together because they care for each other and they like what they have. They are not bound by any law to make things work out.  So, can anyone blame me if I decided to let go and forget the friendship that was starting to crumble?

Certainly, we had our best moments and she has her good qualities yet I don’t feel like I want to be a part of her life or her a part of mine. I do wish her the happiness she has been looking for even if she may not believe it. I am sure she just sees me as the villain and herself as the poor victim. But I wish that one day she would find her inner peace  and accept that our friendship was never meant to last. It was good while we had it.

I am happy with where I am and what I have. (Even with what I don’t have.) I still get in touch with my good friends and I feel good that even if we are so far apart, we still take the time to show how we care for one another. Most of all, I am very fortunate to have found a very good friend in my husband who knows everything that is going on in my life. Who has seen my darkest, deepest side and still loves me. He is one good friend who supports me all the way but never tolerates my capriciousness. Truly, the one person who brings out the best in me and inspires me to be a better individual.

To Adrian, Tessa, Jerred, Vanessa, Ate Sol, and Jennifer V., I am so glad I found you guys. You made my stay in Cebu bearable. I love you and I miss you all. I also want to thank Jo-Ann Dierker for being so nice to me and helping Nathan and I from the start. You don’t know how much your friendship helped me. 

Motherhood. There seems to be greatness and nobility attached to this word. It is believed to be one of the greatest roles a woman could play in her life. Motherhood seems to me a very amazing and yet frightening thing. Still, like any other suckers out there, I will give anything to experience it - to carry another human life in my womb, to feel it grow inside me, to feel the dreadful pain, to nurture that new life and watch it grow, and inculcate the knowledge and instill the values that have been passed on to me.

So the question is, how far would and should a woman go to give birth to a child? How dear is the price she must pay to bring up a child in this world who could probably the next Hitler? Is getting pregnant without a husband worth all the risks and hardships? In other words, is raising a bastard child justified because she wanted it so much or is  it merely selfishness?

Those who get to read this may think I am just being spiteful or that I don’t know anything about motherhood. They can think and say what they want. I will do the same. However, I cannot help wondering why a woman is expected to have a child one way or another as if motherhood is the ultimacy of womanhood.  I find it pitiful that our society of newfangled methods and technology is still part ignorant when it comes to valuing the essence of a woman. As far as I am concerned, the essence of a woman is not based on the role she plays in the family or society but in the values imbedded in her core existence - the will to survive, the passion to make this world a better place, the love and respect she has for humanity.

How better is a mother who can barely raise her kids decently than a woman who chooses not to have kids and yet dedicates her life in helping homeless children and abandoned elderlies?  Bringing up a life in this world is not enough. In fact, I believe that it is otiose to have children when one can’t give them the family they deserve.

It disgusts me that a woman would use her children to get sympathy from others. Being a good mother is not in the number of chidlren she has but in the quality of life she can give to them. It dismays me that some women think their children don’t need a father. No mother- no matter how good or bad she is- can replace a father’s role in her kids’ life.

I am not a mother yet and I may not know everything there is to motherhood but I was lucky enough to be raised by a woman who dedicated her time in giving me best life she could afford and then some. I am sure that even in her last days, she wanted nothing but the best in life for her children. I don’t think I was able to repay her of her love and kindness. I know I never will. I think that being half the woman she was is the best thing I can do to honor her memory. So that, when God finally decides to grant me the gift of motherhood, I can only pray that I could emulate if not, surpass my mother. I guess it would be the only way I could repay her for all the sacrifices she made in raising me .

Motherhood. A great role a woman is privileged to have in her life that entails sacrifice and altruistic sacrifice, incessant patience, and abounding love. To some, it is the greatest achievement they can have. To others, it is but a part of life. To an unfortunate many, it is an erroneous mistake in the past that gave them no choice. To a chosen few, it is their very life- their mission to carry.

So I guess, it all boils down to this: Have you been a good mother or good enough to be a mother?

I logged in my friendster account today to let a former co-worker know I have her as one of my references for a job application. I know, I know. I should have told her ahead of time. How unethical of me. I hope she doesn’t mind. Or I’m in big trouble.

Anyway, as I checked my homepage, I saw someone sending me a friend request. The profile picture was not so clear so that I could not see her face up close. However, I could see she was pretty and she looked sexy in her two-piece swimsuit. Still, the face did not ring a bell. So I shrugged off and assumed she was just one of those random girls who added everyone else on friendster. Since her profile was set to private, I could not find any other information about her. So why waste my time, right?

However, when I checked my inbox, I noticed that she sent me a smiley- twice.  I opened the message with a raised eyebrow expecting another spam message. Wasn’t I wrong. She wrote me a message saying she had been looking for me since college until she found a common friend on facebook and asked him about me. She went on stating she could not forget our grade school years - I was her bestfriend. I could not help gasping in surprise. I do remember a girl with the same name but I could not be sure if it was really her. What is more surprising is that the last time we saw each other was when we were in fourth grade. I moved to a different school in fifth grade.

I sent her a message verfiying her last name.  I hope to get a reply from her. If she was that girl I met in gradeschool, it would be awesome. I can’t help feeling touched that someone remembered me all this time. Someone whom I least I expected to. I could barely remember our times together except for our old days in kindergarten. She was one of the nicest, most quiet girls in the class. The rest was just a blur. All I could remember was that she was well-behaved - the kind of girl who would grow up sweet-tempered and demure.

It is surprising how people come and go in our lives. We find some, we lose some. I hope I find one this time. 

I can’t wait to hear from her.

The Annual Academy Awards fever may be over but I cannot let the chance pass by without putting in my two cents. I found this year’s Oscars to be rather interesting in most part- an Australian actor hosting the show, domestic partners both nominated, Meryl Streep’s nth nominations, and a forgotten actor’s comeback among others.  There were indeed great surprises, big disappointments, and the unexpected. See what I have come up with.

A  Dramatic Change

When I learned that Hugh Jackman was hosting the Oscars, I was thrilled.  I thought it be would nice to see the world’s sexiest man alive instead of some comedian showing off their slapstick humor. And boy, was I not disappointed. I knew Hugh Jackman would be doing a great job hosting the show but it came as a surprise to me when he opened the show with a humorous musical number that talked about this year’s nominees. It also came as a surprise for me to see Anne Hathaway sing.

Hugh Jackman did not just grace the stage with his beguiling smile and drop dead gorgeous looks but he also showed that funny side of him that is not known to many.

As Usual

So Miley Cyrus arrived early on the red carpet, probably hoping to get all the attention from the media. Well, she picked the right time. Donned in a very, very sparkly  Zuhair Murad dress with a V-neck and tiered skirt, she reminded me of miniature carving of a  Christmas tree with glitter as finishing touches. Cute. NOT! To be fair, the dress itself was not bad at all. However, Miley just did not fit in it quite perfectly. While it is a known fact that she likes to wear glittering outfits, it is not an excuse that she should just run for the most sparkling dress she sees. The dress was too big for her and was not totally age appropriate.

Perfect Combination

What Angelina would wear to the Oscars was something I was looking forward to. A part of me was worried that she would choose something too freaky for the media (and even for me) to appreciate. I was so glad she didn’t.  In fact, she and Brad strolled down the aisle and amazed many who were there.

I was expecting Angelina to wear Chanel or Versace but was surprised to learn she chose an Elie Saab  dress. I was more surprised that it looked fabulous on her. I just loved the floor-length train and that slit that was concealed by a sheer fabric. It looked sexier than totally exposing her thigh. The sweetheart neckline also stood out from the usual Bateau, square, or scoop necklines preferred by most celebrities. To top it all, her Schwartz jewelry just added a great contrast to her dark dress. I am not fond of green but I should say that no other color could have made her outfit look better.

Brad Pitt also looked stunning in a Tom Ford tux and shoes and his David Yurman jewels. Have you seen his ring? I love the spark. But then it’s David Yurman after all. The studs on his shirt, I have heard were black diamonds. Talk about wealth and class.

It was not only his outfit that made Brad look appealing but also his hair. It was not overly done like Zac Efron’s or greasy like Mickey Rourke’s. Even the goatee added character to his elegant attire.

Another couple that surprisingly came out very regal were Diane Lane and  husband Josh Brolin. Both of them wore Dolce & Gabbana.

I liked Diane Lane’s subtle mermaid cut dress. The simple elegance gave her a very dramatic look and emphasized her subtle curves. (Yes Beyonce, you don’t need to show a lot of curves to be admired.)

Josh Brolin on the other hand, opted for a slim black tie over a bow that made him out stand the other actors who wore the penguin suit.

Certainly, Diane Lane and Josh Brolin made a point that you don’t need to wear dramatic clothes to create a dramatic look.

Big Disappointment

Unfortunately though, other celebrities just can’t nail it. It was for me, a big disappointment to see someone as beautiful as Jessica Biel walk on the red carpet in that strapless ivory satin dress that looked confusing. That poofy/flowy wide strip on the front seemed liked a part of the dress that should have been tucked in but was pulled out because the bottom part was too narrow to fit it in. The bigger disappointment? It was a Prada dress.

Great Surprise

Not since his movie, “Only You” did Robert Downey, Jr. look clean and appetizing. After his court scenes, his Hollywood comeback was as rough as the times when he was deep in drugs and alcohol. Even his appearance in “Ally McBeal” did not remove the stain created by his misdemeanor.  He looked older each time I saw him on TV.

In “Iron Man” there was an attempt to make him look ravishing but for me, nothing could ever bring back the look that captured me in “Only You”.  Not until I saw him walk on the red carpet at the Oscars.

Wearing David August  and his lovely wife in Blumarine and Cartier jewels, RDJ (sans the dirty stubble on his face) looked so much fresher and younger than he has ever done in years. It was like looking at Peter a.k.a Damon Bradley who has aged gracefully.

Another great surprise was RDJ’s opposite in “Only You” - Marissa Tomei.  This was not the first time she was nominated for Best Supporting actress by the Academy Awards but it certainly was  the first time I saw her look so dazzling on the red carpet.

Marissa Tomei has showcased her eccentric Bohemian taste in fashion and was often criticized by the media. This time though, she got only oohs and ahhs. I say she made a turnaround  in an elegant pleated Versace gown and Van Cleef & Arpels jewels.

Somewhere in the Middle

Life is not just about up and down or black and white. Most of the time, we deal with the so-called gray areas.  And I suppose this applies in fashion, too. There are those that totally pull it off and those who totally blow it. There are also those that are caught up in the middle.

I found myself caught in the middle when it came to Heidi Klum and Taraji P. Henson. I still cannot decide if I should say they pulled it off or blew it.

Taraji P. Henson looked dazzling in those Leighton jewels. Her hair was chic and a breather from all the others’ severe ‘do. However, I could not decide if I should like her white tiered gown by Roberto Cavalli. At first glance, it was elegant, the cut and the color. Plus, she wore a red purse that served as a pop of color. Still, there was something about her dress that did not seem right. The more I look at it the more horrifying it gets. The irregular layers seemed too loose and flimsy that they remind me of strips of bandages wrapped around her body. In other words, her dress made her look like a mummy.

Heidi Klum who was voted as one of the best-dressed at the Oscars last year, wearing a John Galliano architectural red dress seemed to be lost in translation this year with another architectural red dress this time by Roland Mouret.  I think it was too origami-like. There was too much irregularity in the cut and the dress as a whole did not seem comfortable to wear. She looked so wrapped and confined.

No Comparison

I just love that section in the magazine where they show who wore it best. I just could not help doing my own version.

First, Sara Jessica Parker versus Penelope Cruz.  Both ladies looked bridal in their white and poofy dresses.  SJP looked so dreamy in Dior while Penelope looked feminine in a vintage Pierre Balmain.

Who wore what better? Penelope Cruz in her vintage dress.

Inasmuch as I lurrve SJP despite her fashion mishaps every now and then, I think that Penelope carried her dress in a more sophisticated way. Her updo looked more appropriate than SJP’s  middle part which showed a bit too much of her scalp. Also, Penelope’s Chopard choker appeared much more desirable than SJP’s compressed chest. Although, SJP wore something cute that Penelope did not. Matthew Broderick.

Second (and last), Natalie Portman versus Alicia Keys. Both beauteous young ladies wore pretty dresses in youthful feminine colors - Natalie Portman in a bubblegum pink Rodarte and Alicia Keys in a lilac Armani Prive. Natalie wore her hair up while Alicia wore hers down. Who looked better?

Much to my husband’s dismay, I choose Alicia Keys. (Nate, I am not a hater, okay?)  Reasons? Well, first the color. The feminine bubblegum pink did not do any justice on Natalie’s already lady-like looks. She is pretty but the color just did not seem to suit her well. It was too pale against her skin. Whereas, Alicia just popped out in the crowd in lilac.

Second, the cut. The Armani Prive froc emphasized Alicia’s beautiful curves and showed her skin just enough to entice the viewer. The flow of the dress gave her that youthful and carefree look.  Natalie’s Rodarte on the other hand, made her look so thin as if she were not a grown-up woman but a girl in her puberty. Although it emphasized her nice, tiny waist, the fall of the fabric was just so flat. She could have used a little more volume. And did I mention the color did not totally go well with her skin tone?

All in all, I liked the Oscars this year. I think that most celebrities in this dire times got back to their senses and picked out sensible clothes. I wonder how is it going to be next year.

I feel like crying right now.

Although, I was not born and raised in the United States, and this is just my second Thanksgiving, I have come to like this holiday. I like it because it is one occasion wherein religious beliefs are not necessarily involved. I also like it because it is when most families come together - to spend time and enjoy one another’s company.

I enjoyed my first Thanksgiving. We went to my husband’s grandparents and all the family members were there. Well, except for my husband’s brother and his family who were still living in California. Still, I had a great time having my first Thanksgiving turkey and being iwth my husband’s family.

This year, I was looking forward to Thanksgiving. I was thinking that since Nathan’s brother and his family moved in to Kansas, Thanksgiving would be a blast! I am disappointed. Unfortunately, everyone else has a different plan. It will not be as grand as it was last year. Nathan and I will be going to his brother’s place instead of their dad’s or grandma’s so we could all be together and celebrate just as I imagine families should do.

It saddens me that most Americans take their families for granted. Eventhough my husband’s family is more conservative and traditional than most American families, nevertheless, I feel like there is something amiss. I do not intend to offend my husband and his family, or anyone else. I am merely expressing my opinion based on what I have observed.

Americans do things based on their convenience. Family members visit one another when it is convenient for them. Friends get together when there is nothing else to do. They do not seem to take an extra step to be with their friends or family. I feel sad and mad at the same time that these people take such important things for granted.

I remember when I was a child, my mother and I would often make an hour trip (riding on a boat)  to see my grandparents for no special reason. I miss the times when family members traveled far to celebrate the night with loved ones on their birthday, or some distant relatives who lived in faraway towns spent the weekend to catch up on trivial things they had missed. Even neighbors never forgot to drop by to wish you a happy new year. They did not even mind staying for a while to try your overcooked pancit or tasteless macaroni salad.

Yes, it indeed saddens me that many people who can be with their friends and families choose not to because of whatever reason they have. Perhaps I am also jealous that I am so far away from my family and friends. The two aunts closest to me live on each side of the coast.

Right now, I just wish that I could be with my family and old friends; spend the holidays with people who care more about the number of friends and family members who love them than the number of dishes on their table.

I was intrigued by the movie, “Twilight” since it seemed to gather a lot of moviegoers. I have not read the book nor watched the TV series but I decided to watch the movie, anyway. In fact, I was excited to watch it. I like vampire stories and I like Cedric (Robert Pattinson). I was thrilled to see him again on the big screen. I did not know anything about the story except that Cedric (as I want to call him) plays a vampire. So I begged for my husband to take me to the movies and watch this film. I was disappointed in most part of the movie. Although Robert Pattinson ( Edward Cullen in this movie) played the role of a 17-year old vampire who goes to junior high, very well. His good looks with his silent demeanor made an interesting character for a vampire.

However, there are parts of the movie that are just dragging. The first part was so boring. I think that they had lingered on scenes that could have been deleted. Some of the characters ( the non-vampire students) were so flat and their acting was forced. To top it all, I could not stand one of the main characters.

Kristen Stewart (she starred in several movies including The Messengers tin 2007) plays the love interest of Robert Pattinson named Bella Swan. I have seen her acting in “The Messengers” and it was not so bad but she did not do any justice to her role in “Twilight”.

Okay, so maybe the role she plays is not so challenging. After all, what is so challenging about a junior high student who goes back to her little hometown. However, her acting was just downright bad. Dakota Fanning as young as she is, could have done the job a hundred times better. In fact, Katie Leung (Cho Chang) did a better job in little her role in “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” as the girlfriend of Robert Pattinson ( Cedric Diggory).

Seriously. Not only was Kristen Stewart stiff in portraying Bella Swan, she did three stupid things all throughout the movie! First, she never closed her mouth. Did she have to show her bunny teeth? I mean come on, who wants to see bunny teeth? They should have casted her for “Ugly Betty.” Second, her breathing was so audible in most scenes-as if she were panting. Does she have a breathing problem in real life? Third (and this is what I hate the most), it seemed like she was having seizures. She just could not stop shaking her head! She practically started and ended each sentence with a vigorous shake of her head. It was annoying. Why did she get the part in first place?

Anyway, there were scenes in the movie that were interesting enough. Like when the Cullens were playing baseball and Edward glistening in the sunlight. That part was surprising. I expected him to burn just vampires in other movies. Also, the locations of the movie – Washington and Oregon were nice. The evergreens were so cool to the eyes and gave the movie an adventurous setting. It was also good to see the beautiful Multnomah Falls and the Columbia Gorge featured in a movie.

All in all, the movie was saved by Robert Pattinson’s acting and good looks.

I think it was last week that Nathan and I got to see the pre-screening of the movie, “The Soloist” which stars Robert Downey, Jr. and Jamie Foxx. It is directed by Joe Wright who also directed the movie, “Atonement”. We decided to watch the film because it seemed to be an interesting movie having two great actors and a good director working together. Plus, the tagline was rather intriguing. “Life has a mind of its own.”

The movie is about a journalist named Steve Lopez ( Robert Downey, Jr.), while in search for a juicy story to write, meets the homeless Nathaniel Ayers ( Jamie Foxx) who happened to be a music prodigy. Well, that was before he became homeless. Nathaniel Ayers was a talented cellist who dreamed to play at the Walt Disney Concert Hall until stress overcame him and left him with incurable mental illness- schizophrenia.

Steve Lopez finds Ayers to be a fascinating subject that he decided to hang around for a little more. He soon finds himself compelled to this guy and decides to help him change his life and fulfill his dream. Still, some complications get in the way.

“The Soloist” is an interesting movie all right. Jamie Foxx did a good job portraying a metnally disturbed homeless guy. His characters was not at all depressing. It was a fascinating and funny character. Robert Downey Jr. also showed his other side in this movie. It is something I have not seen since “ Only You”.

However, there were some unnecessary scenes. I totally did not like the scene where they showed psychedelic colors while the orchestra was playing. I would not have minded if it lasted only for a few seconds. But for half a minute or so? It is nice to see those colors while you’re listening to your music on Windows Media Player but it is annoying when you are watching a movie. Another scene that should be cut is the one wherein RBD, Jr. looks out of his patio door and sees raccoons digging into the ground despite the fact that he has sprayed the ground with coyote urine. I say it was an unnecessary scene because, I did not see any importance those animals played in the movie. The whole raccoon and coyote urine thing was weird.

Other scenes dragged by so slowly. The way they showed Ayers past was not so impressive. It did not make his character any more interesting nor did it explain the very reason why he suffered schizophrenia. I think that they could have done a better job.

If there were bad scenes, there were also captivating scenes. For example, that scene where the homeless Ayers played a nice, working cello for the first time since his breakdown. I think it was the scene that stood out.

In general, “The Soloist” can be an interesting movie to watch without the awkward scenes.

So what’s the deal with Obama appointing Hillary Clinton as the Secretary of State? I thought he wanted a change! Where’s the change there? I thought the people of the United States of America have had enough of the old politics and want something new. Or someone new who would bring change in this great country. Having any of the Clintons in the scene is definitely not THE change the Americans wanted.  Hasn’t the US had enough with the Clinton administration? 

Well, of course I am sure many people are happy especially Hillary’s supporters but I  think there are those innocent morons who put their trust in Obama who are not as happy. They should have thought better before they chose him.  Obama may have the good intentions but what about the people whom he trust, whom he associates, and whom he depends to help him? Like Hillary Clinton. Oh well, just like a former co-worker would say, it’s the same old shit -just a different ass.

Good luck America!

My dear husband never wanted me to let him live with us. He had been very reluctant about me letting this guy into our lives. For one thing, my husband, as kind and nice as he might be, did not like this guy nor ever cared for his kind. But I insisted, trying to convince him that this young fellow would never be a trouble for us. I told him I would handle him myself if he ever ended up in a mess. I wanted to give this guy a chance, a shelter he could call home. He had traveled far, in a snowy winter. He endured the cold and the risky trip; his pliability was admirable. I could see he needed a fresh start and inasmuchas I did not want to admit it openly,  I was already falling for him.

Finally in an exasperation, my husband succumbed to my wishes and let this guy go home with us.

At first, he was so silent, trying to adjust to his new environment. I could not tell if he missed his family members who were drastically separated from him. If he did, he never showed it to us. Sometimes, when my husband was at work, and there was nothing much to do, I would go to him and try to crack up a conversation. He was never the talkative type. But it did not disturb me. I admired his taciturn  manner. I even found myself drawn to his indifference. But sometimes I wished he would open up a little. Still, I did not force him.

Days and weeks passed and my husband’s uncaring attitude towards this stranger turned into curiosity. I would catch him stare at the guy with a quizzical look on his face- half amused, half confused. Although, he did not as much exchange any greeting with this fellow, my husband did not show him any contempt. Life was going smoothly until some small things started to change.

I could not tell if it was my playful nature or my overly caring demeanor that turned this guy into a demanding and cantankerous rascal. His silent behavior changed to restlessness and ill temperament. He started to snap at us. My husband was not at all happy about this dissolute behavior. I could see in his eyes that he was dying to drive this ungrateful stranger out of our house. My husband’s patience was wearing out.

I was torn between my love for my husband and my compassion towards the guy. We were the only ones he got now. His new home. His new family. We had become the siblings and the parents he lost. If we turned our backs on him, he would have nobody. He would be just another lost soul in the streets trying to survive each day and the option of having him end up with another family or a welfare organization was not something I wanted to consider. I wanted this guy to stay with us,  to change his life, to believe he could be something better. I wanted to believe I would be that person to touch his heart, to be his heroine-someone he could turn to whenever he needed a company. Yes, I had fallen for the guy. I knew that my husband had noticed it,too.

It must have been very difficult for my loving husband to see his wife favoring another being over him. Several times he complained about it. His once silent indifference had now turned into bursts of anger. I felt his frustration. I would get mad at the guy too; yelling at him, scolding him to be more considerate, to realize we were trying to help him. Yes, I felt my husband’s frustration. Yet, I refused to give up.

And so we endured weeks and months of constant fight with this being who  was becoming another member of our family. But to me, he was becoming my other guy. The frustrations he caused me were easily overcome by his charming nature. Oh yes, I found him charming. One look at me and he would make me forget about how mad I was at him. He knew exactly how and when to win my heart. His idle stare as he stretched out his lean body never failed to entice me to come and lay beside him. He found a way to befriend my husband, too. He had come to be congenial.

My husband would always go to his desk after he came home from work. It was his solitude after a day’s work. And this guy would find his way to stop by and have his moment with him. Sometimes, they were amical. Other times, my husband would just pretend he was tired and wanted to be alone. I believed he did not want the guy to break his shell. After all, he had reasons not to like this guy. Sometimes, I would tell my husband he was being harsh but his dismissive behavior would only remind me of the bond I share with his contender and that would make me silent. But not guilty.

After several months, this beautiful stranger still amused me. I would like to believe that I was able to change his life and touched his heart. He had come out of his shell and be the charming and gentle soul that he was inside back then. He had become more sociable with other people. Most importantly, my husband had come to accept him and tolerate my love for him.

Yes, I would say this once young stranger had touched my life, too. He had brought me happiness and delight. Each night when he would come to bed and lay still as I stroked his body, I would feel his need of attention. This delighted me for I too needed his attention and was only happy to finally win his heart. He had conquered my heart, too. This is my life - with my other guy.  My precious cat.

In you I find the strength I need each day,

Loving you has taught me a thing or two.

Our vow to stay together - come what may,

Verily proves our love is naught but true.

Even when times get tough, we will remain-

You and I, loving husband, faithful wife.

Over rushing floods, even endless rain,

Until the end; for the rest of our lives.

No one should part what God joined together.

And those precious vows exchanged, we shall keep

Through thick and thin, we’ll be with each other.

Happiness or sorrow that makes us weep.

As we relive the day we said ” I do”,

Nathan my dear love, again, I love you.